Archive for February, 2012

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cant stop crying and being upset. havent enjoyed my pregnancy yet..?!?
Well Im 34 weeks pregnant and throughout my WHOLE pregnancy I have been ridiculed on my choices, every choice I make by my family, mainly my sister. I wasnt going to breastfeed but am going to now because I know its superior for my child and I at least want to try it. I was also scared into it by my sister. I want to cover up while breastfeeding in public and Im a horrible person to do that according to my sister. I got a baby carrier for christmas and I cant use it because its bad if I dont baby wear and do that instead…according to my sister. Im a horrible person for using an infant automobile seat instead of a convertible one that stays in the automobile (according to my sister..) because infant seats lower your babies blood oxygen level. Im horrible for not cosleeping because my baby will die of SIDS if I dont..according to my sister. Im horrible for circumcising my son (and I know a lot of you will feel the same way as her..) because its mutilation (according to her..) but her getting an abortion was some how not mutilation of her child. Im such a bad mother because when my son is exhausted I will put him in his crib and let him cry for a few minutes before he falls asleep. again according to her. oh and Im such a bad mother for wanting to get my son vaccinated and the vitamin K shot.

so this day I had to end my relationship with my sister because she doesnt try to help she ridicules me and tells me I am selfish for all of this. I just cant get over it though. I cant stop crying but Ive cried this whole pregnancy and havent been able to enjoy it because of her. now Im 34 weeks pregnant and I dont even know where the time went! How can I stop myself from crying and how can I make myself get over me not speaking to my sister? I didnt want to end it but I really felt that I had to. Im so upset and just dont know what to do. I want to be a mother but at this rate I feel like my son would be superior off with another family. and Im married! I shouldnt feel that way! what do I do =/
Im not speaking about letting him cry when hes a little baby. I mean when hes older like a toddler and I know hes tired. I wont let him cry for long but its always worked when I was a nanny because I know theyre exhausted and need sleep.

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