http://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/

Car riding has proved fatal, as well, so do you walk wherever you go?

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Answer by MT
I think it makes sense on many levels. Babies were designed to want to be near mom. They are absolutely helpless. If they slept apart from mother in the wild, they would easily fall victim to a predator or the cold.

Co-sleeping is very, very safe when done correctly (not impaired by drugs or alcohol, on a bed without other objects, etc.). But, if parents can’t or will not co-sleep safely, or they are just too freaked out to, I am not anti-crib.

Answer by momtosix
Awesome article, and worth sharing. Thanks!

Answer by dmgoldsbo7
I have heard of this and it s something i would love to do with my 6 month old. When he was just born we would nap together in my bed it was great. However when i could not sleep with him during that nap, he wouldn’t’ sleep as long in his bassinet which sparked me to make a change. I started to put him in his own crib for naps. It was sad but he would not sleep unless i was there and that was only going to get worse as time went on. Babies get use to a routine and if u stray for it they get “upset”. I did not like it i loved being Next to him but now he is so simple to put down I just take him in his room kiss him lay him down and he goes out. so i make up for that time by when he falls asleep while i feed him i just hold him or when i rock him i hold him for a while longer. It is slightly hazardous just a few weeks ago here where i live a nany was sleeping with a baby she took care of and in the morning no one could find the baby, it took them about an hour to find out what happened. Well the baby somehow rolled between the bed and the wall and suffocated. Soooooo sad.

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1. I have no idea when my husband and I will reunite. Will it be uncomfortable for my child to sleep in bed with me and someone they do not have the same type of bond with?

2. My husband takes Seroquel at night which makes him sleepy. Is it hazardous to have the infant in bed with someone who might not wake up easily?

Should I begin Cosleeping knowing that I might have to end it before my child is ready?

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Answer by cam’sma’
The ideal thing you could do before your husband returns is to put your baby to sleep on the crib, specially because your husband takes a medication, he wont be as conscious as you of the baby being between you two.

Answer by wiXet
We co-sleep and we love it…it’s great if you do it safely.

If your husband takes sleeping meds, do not let the baby lie next to him…always have her/him on your side of the bed.

Answer by parental unit
1. baby will not care if there is another person in the bed, as long as they do not take up the baby’s space!!

2. a parent (or any caregiver) who takes medication for sleep should not co-sleep. If you are your husband reunite and you wish to continue co-sleeping you might want to invest in a bedside co-sleeper, so the baby is safely away from your husband.

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Answer by NANCY T
you shoulh have started trying to weng her just before a year. i would just stop and begin giving her soft shaped cups nuby is a good brand to try and you can find them at wal mart it took a while for my son to switch but it finally worked after a long 2 -3 weeks good luck

Answer by someone
start using a bottle or give your child a tippy cup of
3/4 milk instead of nursing
then you can gradually wean him off like a few days later give him 1/2 milk water combo and make sure he eats well just before bed
it is a habit and habits are hard to break in children
but if he is full at bed time and then still gets a drink but is it is not as good as mothers milk he will not want it as often

Answer by sandy
ok i’m still 16 but my mother told me how she did it with me and my siblings…..everytime we would wake up at odd hours in the middle of the night….she wouldnt give us milk but instead she would put a couple of drops of water into our mouths with her finger…after a week or so…we stopped waking up in the middle of the night ….because we knew we were not going to get any milk ….i know it might seem pretty mean when your child is crying for milk….but in my mothers case…it worked!

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so this day I had to end my relationship with my sister because she doesnt try to help she ridicules me and tells me I am selfish for all of this. I just cant get over it though. I cant stop crying but Ive cried this whole pregnancy and havent been able to enjoy it because of her. now Im 34 weeks pregnant and I dont even know where the time went! How can I stop myself from crying and how can I make myself get over me not speaking to my sister? I didnt want to end it but I really felt that I had to. Im so upset and just dont know what to do. I want to be a mother but at this rate I feel like my son would be superior off with another family. and Im married! I shouldnt feel that way! what do I do =/
Im not speaking about letting him cry when hes a tiny baby. I mean when hes older like a toddler and I know hes tired. I wont let him cry for long but its always worked when I was a nanny because I know theyre exhausted and need sleep.

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Answer by Holly
It’s normal to feel emotional so do not worry about crying! I believe you did the right thing in slicing your sister out… I would do the same thing.

She has stomped on your confidence & made you feel like crap. That is not right. Your child. Raise him how you wish.

By all means try breastfeeding. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Plenty of babies thrive on formula. Most women like to cover up for a bit of privacy & dignity.
Nothing wrong with baby carriers & automobile seats… They would not be made if they were bad for a baby.
If you do not want to co-sleep. Nothing wrong with that. My daughter has slept in a Moses basket from birth & she is doing brilliantly.
Circumcision is your choice. No one else’s.
The only thing I do not concur with is letting him cry. Babies need love. Pick him up & cuddle him, do not let him cry.
Abortion is far worse than anything above.

Don’t worry, be happy & congratulations!

Answer by boneheaderss
By all means, you are pregnant right now and very emotional, however, i think it was a wonderful idea that you ended the relationship. She was getting to be too controlling. You do know that you do not exactly have to breast feed. You could pump breast milk out, so any care taker your baby might have will be able to feed. It is extremely healthy for YOU to breastfeed. It makes you loose off the weight you gained during your pregnancy and prevents you from getting certain cervical and breast cancer. But be warned that if you do pump, your baby might have nipple confusion. For example, if you begin breast feeding, your baby is use to it and might not want to take the bottle.

Infant seats actually do not lower blood oxygen level. Infant seats are highly suggested because they can be installed at a 45 degree angle much easier and fit the baby better. When rear facing, the straps should be at or BELOW the shoulders, which is pretty much impossible with a convertible. Even though SIDS does happen, automobile accidents are the leading cause of death for kids under 12 years old. Convertibles do advertize that their automobile seats fit newborns at 5 lbs, but the lowest slot is about 9 inches.

It is YOUR son and YOUR baby, you can have control in your life also.

I already know that some convertibles might fit newborns, but I would not advocate them because I like how infant seats have deeper side walls. Of course, any rearfacing seat has awesome side impact protection. I like to go above and beyond.

Answer by Star is a chick
@ Bonehead

There any many convertibles that fit newborns well at birth, that either have bottom slots lower than 9 inches by themselves or when used with the provided infant insert. An infant seat is a valid safe choice when used properly for a newborn, but many convertibles can be too.

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Answer by 2 on the hip 1 on the way
Co sleeping with what age range??

I co sleep with all ym babies until 3 months old then they make the transfer to their own cot. During the first 3 months I generally feed them and put them to bed on their own until Im ready to go to sleep which is generally only an hour or so later, this gives me time to shower and what not before I climb into bed with my bubba.
It really depends on the age range your wondering about though

Answer by Riley’s momma
My 12 month old has slept with me since she was born. She has slept from 9 at night until 9 in the morning since she was about 2 months old. I usually feed her supper, let her play, give her a bath, then get her settled down for bed. It doesn’t always play out like that but she is usually in the bed at least by 10. I stay up and have “me” time (even if I am just laying in the bed on the computer) until I am ready to go to sleep. I get about 8-10 hours of sleep a night. I think I am one of the lucky ones though. A few of my girlfriends children still wake up in the middle of the night and they are co-sleepers also! I hope this helped…. Were you wanting me to give you my full day schedule?

Answer by csbrownies77
Baby sleeps when we do, which is around 9pm. If we happen to be up (like tonight, it’s 11:36pm now) we put them down at 9 anyway, they can sleep on their own.

My bed is currently being invaded by a 2 year old and an 8 month old. The 2 year old’s toddler bed is at the foot of ours; looks like he made an executive decision and took his father’s spot. Oh well, he will be moved back to his bed when my husband goes to bed. haha

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Answer by jttigger
i have three children. i have always coslept with all of them. however i sleep alone with them in a queen size bed, be careful of blankets etc. my 5 month old baby i had to move to a crib because he was all over the bed and i was afraid he would fall off.

Answer by chuckles.221983
my hubbies friend slept with his baby and smothered him …yeh the baby died…
I didnt do it with my new born but Im preg at the mo and went baby shopping on the weekend and they have these bassanet type things u put in ur bed, ur new boen sleeps in it and it has barriers on sides n bottom to stop u rolling on the new born…

Answer by lysistrata411
We co-sleep with out son some nights and other nights he sleeps in his crib. Either way he is in our room. We just like having him close to us. When my son was first born I had that fear of smothering him, too, but you will soon notice how your sleeping patterns really change once you have a baby. You become so much more aware of each tiny movement or sound your baby makes. Once I became more comfortable with this, he started sleeping in the bed with us more and more.

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I do infant potty training with my baby, and a lot of people will state that it’s making a baby grow up too fast to do so, but then I get the argument that cosleeping causes too much dependency on mother and dad. So why is it okay for babies to be independent with sleep but when it comes to potty training an infant, it is a different story?

So I am genuinely asking here– what is so bad about dependence on mother and dad?
Obviously as a parent, a goal of mine is to raise my children to be independent, productive, caring adults. I believe that the choices I am making now are contributing to that, and are not making them overly attached to me. But I do believe that babies and toddlers should be very dependent on their parents.

I am from the US, but I practice “elimination communication” with my baby. I discovered this with my first but potty trained her in the traditional way. Fortunately she was PT by the time she was 2 so I did not have some of the same PT issues others have had. I started EC with the baby because of recurrant rash issues, and we discovered that it fit in really well with our life and family, and we all enjoy the closeness that it brings to learn her signals and take her to the potty. So when people state I am letting my baby grow up too fast and not allowing her to be a baby, I chuckle a tiny because it is SO not about that. It’s about her comfort and her needs, not about me at all

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Answer by R C
The only downside in my view is the lack of room in my bed. My 5 year old co-sleep with us and the habit was very hard to break after. With my 3 month old i bring him to bed to nurse him and then put him back in his bed which is in my room. I find i get superior sleep when he is in the crib because i move around unlike when the baby is in the bed i stay in the same postion. I am not sure what i think about infant potty training. My oldest was trained at 18 monthes and the second one was trained at 3 in my view it all depends on the child but hey i ain’t no expert. This one might be 20 for all i know lol.

Answer by Lisa
I dont think a tiny dependence is bad at all. However I do think we should encourage independece whenever we can. Sometimes it doesn’t matter anyway because some children tend to be more “clingy” to their parents no matter what. As long as your child is healthy then I dont know why so many people make a fuss over things like cosleeping.

To each his own.

Answer by Trina S
There is nothing wrong with a baby being dependent on Mother and Dad. A close relationship is very important, that bond. You do what you feel is best.
We learned with our first baby that he sleeping with us, just did not cut it. We truly got no sleep and we found that my hubby and I got short fused. We put my son in his own bed at 4 months and my daughter at 3. The only time now that they sleep with us, or on a bed on the floor by us is when they are sick.
I personally want my children to be dependent on me and my hubby. Sadly, the day will come when they will grow up and that will be less and less. My son is in k-5, and we can already see that starting to happen. It is all apart of growing up. Just enjoy your baby each moment, and do not take anything for granted.

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He is still breastfed and that is part of his nightly routine. Bath, storytime, nursing, sleep.
He will wake up a few times in the night to nurse too. It’s very simple on us though, I just let him eat and we fall back asleep.

I know now the hard part begins, now that I am wanting to wean and get him into his own bed. It feels like it’s like dealing with a newborn all over again because suddenly I am having to get up with him in the night if I want him to go back to sleep.

Any experiences, and hints about what worked for you if you were in my situation?
I loved the time I have spent cosleeping and nursing my baby but it is time for a new chapter in life!

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Answer by Mitch & Katie’s Mama
The way I did it when my daughter still nursed through the night is put the crib into a daybed (it is convertible) and put it tight against our bed. That is good to me because it meant if someone got up it did not wake her. By the time she could sleep through the night I would nurse her in a chair in her room, lay her down and she seemed okay with the crib but a good month later she was climbing out of it, now at 19 months she is either in her daybed or on her brother’s extra twin bed which if I have trouble putting her to bed the twin bed I can lay with her with lights out it works out well.

Answer by KarnerBlue
When my son was 4 months we put him in his crib. what i did was pushed his crib against the wall, pulled the side off that was not against the wall and pushed our bed into the crib. that way we were still sleeping close but he was in his own bed. after a while i just put the side back up and eventually moved him away from the bed and ultimately into his own room. hope this helps you, it worked great for us.

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the reason i am asking this is… i am currently cosleeping with my tiny 5 month old girl. but i will probably have another child in the next couple years. i have no problem cosleeping with tiny lady for years to come but if i have another baby i do not want to kick her out then when she is used to it, that is cruel. it howver seems particularly problematic to cosleep with both a toddler and a newborn….
has anyone made this work? am i worried for nothing?

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Answer by keevelish
If you have a huge bed I see no reason why it would not work. Obviously though, if you are married your husband will not have any room.

Answer by Betsy
We co-sleep with our 6 month old and our 25 month old. Just don;t put the children next to each other. While you will not roll over on anyone else, a child sometimes does.

**ETA**We also have the 25 month olds bed between our bed and the wall so he sometimes crawls up into it but is still with everyone else.

Answer by iamhis0
It was no problem for us. Our sleeping arrangement was me on the outside, then baby, then daddy, then the toddler on the other side. Just separate the baby and toddler by your own body, and there are no problems. You can also put the bed up against the wall, making sure there are no gaps, to insure there is no rolling off of the bed.

It really is not that hard. We are due with our third in January, and will co-sleep with this tiny one as well. We are slowly getting him used to sleeping in a toddler bed pushed up next to ours, and then will keep the 18 month old in bed with us, who will be 2 when the baby is born.

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Answer by BABIES ÜBER ALLES!
“What is an appropriate age to nix cosleeping altogether, to avoid her becoming dependant on it?”

If you want a non-needy kid, meet her needs; do not rush her along with some weird idea that a helpless infant needs to be taught independence.

No teen-ager sleeps with his or her parents. Any child will self-wean from co-sleeping. The idea that babies and kids need to be “taught” stuff about sleeping is a myth; it’s all from people who want to force it to make babies and kids _convenient_. If you are happy with your daughter in bed with you, keep her there until she is no longer happy with it.

Some interesting reading: http://kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

Answer by goddessamber13676
I would definitely begin sooner than later… my son is nearly 2 and I am pregnant and he still will not sleep on his own! So I am no one to talk, I am really struggling with it, because I am just so fatigued I let him sleep with me, so I do not have to hear him crying.

Answer by Kat
I think that is really going to be something only you can answer. I co-slept occasionally (a lot in the beginning) and still do occasionally if she is sick or having a bad night. I started to notice around 4 months she did not get good sleep in bed w/ me…would wake often, and when I would wake it seemed she was always staring at me….I think my presence kept her fighting sleep at that point.
She sleeps well in her crib, soundly most of the time.

I have read and heard that co-sleeping actually helps them feel more confident about themselves and you being there…helps them become independent.

It is such a controversial issue…but at 5 months if you are both enjoying it…keep it up, IMO.

***edit***

mcmom> that is awesome!

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